Real life

After 5 weeks on the job of boring work in the shop all day I finally experienced what it's like to be a true wild land firefighter.
Friday morning the fire up at the sand dunes (Medano Fire) finally crept over the Sangres and on to our district. We went up and were assigned to some structural protection for a lodge way up in the mountains. We worked on that most of the day moving excess fuel away from the house and cutting some nearby trees out of the way. Once we were done with that for the next 2 days we didn't do much but drive around and become familiar with the roads that were around. The fire was still over some ridges some 7 miles away from where we were. So it wasn't very exciting. As Monday morning came, we found we were to be relieved due to a type 2 team coming in to help (basically just a more experienced squad). And they didn't need us anymore.
So we drove back to Canon that morning and were at the station no longer then 3 hours before our whole station got called up to the Royal Gorge where 3 separate fires had started all at once. As we drove up there the smoke was billowing high and the fire was beginning to crank at high speed due to high winds.
We ended up working about a 36 hour shift stopping at 2am for 3 hours of iffy sleep. It was the most intense work i've been involved with in my life. Mostly what we did was structural protection which included cutting down excess fuels around houses and dragging it off a safe distance.
The first house we did this too ended up burning a while after and it really got to me. Just being the last resort between someones home burning was a very crazy and sad thing. And when I heard it burned I just lost it, broke down and wanted to quit my job so bad. I did my best to pull it together but it was a tough day, and my best friend in critical condition during this time didn't help either.
But I began to realize through all of this somehow that I really like to help people in whatever way possible, and whatever they're going through. It might not always be the best help, and i've definitely gotten myself in some sticky situations, but I mean good. And after thinking about it alot that day, I think God may be calling me to serve in someway. I don't know how or when but it's kind of exciting to finally realize that. I never have felt before like I have been called to missions before, and im still not quite sure but it seems like things are coming together more nowadays in that direction. We'll see how it goes!

So even though things seems to suck alot lately through work and people I work with making it even harder. I know that's what life is all about and im trying to just get through it and on to the next thing.

That's all I got--

No one said it was going to be easy-

So already i've found my job to be like alot of jobs i've had before and simply counting down the hours till the 8 hour shift is over. While at the station we end up doing lots and lots of random things simply to pass the time because there are no fires right now. I have always liked going at a faster pace, so it's been pretty difficult this past week to find the strength to continue through it all.

Oddly enough at TheMILL this last friday I could not focus for the life of me. I couldn't get into what Aaron was talking about, and this has never been an issue before. Maybe my mind was wondering too much, distracted, maybe it was Brett being Brett.. I don't know, but it sucked. More then halfway through his talk I finally zoned in a bit and yet again God's timing never fails. Aaron started talking about suffering and if we have ever suffered through something to get to an end goal that we valued, and was it worth the suffering. He said that we should embrace suffering. It's as simple as vegetables, not necessarily on a suffering level but the same concept. Alot of them are really good for you and will benefit you, but we hate them. Or if you put yourself through the pain and endurance of running a marathon, it might not be something that you necessarily enjoy, but there's a sense of accomplishment through it and that you're in good enough shape to complete the 26.2 miles. Is it so bad that we can't suffer a little to get to a healthier body or get to a place of accomplishment at the end?

For me it's my job, I never wanted this job for the actual work, I was just focused on the money, for school and such. And it's not that my job sucks balls or anything, but it's just not as enjoyable as I had hoped. So im really trying to endure it and be able to look at things differently then when I first started. After my first week of work I wasn't very thankful for it. And I realize alot more now what a great opportunity I really have. Even though in theory I don't like working for the government, it definitely has it's pros and I will come out knowing ALOT more then when I started. And I am getting certified for so many things that could even come in handy down the road. And heck, it can't be bad for my resume. So my goal this summer is to endure through it, like God says, to Glorify him in everything that we do. It definitely helps to have friends to hang with on my days off, or go biking, climbing, TheMILL, and of course my paycheck. It gives me something to look forward to and that eases my week and motivates me.

So I would like to ask for some prayer for me this Summer. That I can continue to grow in God and seek him, and to enjoy my job as much as possible and do my best at all times, without always dwelling on the things I don't enjoy about it, but rather what good will come out of it.

"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10

The off the top of your head threw me off

Finally it seems all the pieces have fallen into place and now its time again for a new page in my life.
It seems I just got established where I am right now. Finally, after waiting so long for things to change they did, and now im moving on again when im not ready to go. I found out yesterday that I was accepted into CSU Fort Collins for the Fall. I'm definitely stoked beyond belief, ready to continue with my education and all that. And I knew it was coming, but because it wasn't official before, I played it off as something that wasn't said and done, and that made me more relaxed about it. So now reality finally hit and it got me thinking alot. I will have to start from scratch with pretty much everything. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, it can actually be alot of fun, just seemingly something i've done more then normal the past 6 months. So im just in a very mixed emotions state right now. I know it will be good, but I can't let go. poop.
But through all this I thought of a song a friend of mine wrote. Basically saying not to worry about your troubles now, but instead focus on God. And it's so true, for one, worrying gets you nowhere, and two, I know that if God didn't want me up at CSU he wouldn't have opened that door, so im eager to find out what he has in store for me up there. And leaving the Springs crew is tough, but of course i'll still visit. I feel everything is going out on a high note there, well almost..
Time and time again though when I look around trying to figure out how I can conquer the current quest or problem I can never quite find the right answer. And it's simply because without God we can't do anything. As humans we are weak, and fallen.

Kind of a tricky verse, but I like it

1st Corinthians 1:25
"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength".

Well, I started my new job a few days ago and needless to say, it's gunna be alot of work. Basically so far I have collected endless amounts of gear and knowledge of what to do with it all. Im assigned to the one and only forest service engine with 4 other guys. If we're out on a fire for multiple days, I have my life packed into a duffel bag and could be out as long as 14 days(and that could even be with only 1 or 2 showers!). It's pretty crazy and still hard to judge on what to expect since I haven't done much yet. But im looking forward to getting into it and learning alot and having fun at the same time.

My brother and his wife are coming back this summer too for a suprise birthday for my grandma's 80th. And he's going to try and get visas for his in-laws to come as well! They have never been to the US before and speak only a few simple sentences of english so if it happens it should be pretty fun and interesting for sure.

Almost 3 months have gone by since I applied for Fort Collins and there is still issues surfacing seemingly every week, so that is pretty frustrating. The deadline is rapidly approaching, but I know if God wants me there He will make it happen!

I have had two amazing summers up at Horn Creek in the past, but a summer isn't even close to enough time to really grow. Life changed drastically for those 3 months, but after that I went right back into my usual routine of no fellowship with believers and a shitty town.
This semester has definitely been all time for me now and im so grateful for the community i've been able to become apart of, and the countless memories i've made just being a crazy college kid. I have also grown so much in my faith and have gotten into a great routine of quiet times and finally got to the point of wanting to do it instead of forcing myself to. TheMILL has been a great church for me too and I love it so much! This all has been awesome, but I couldn't of done it without people encouraging me and motivating me so thanks. Im gunna miss it alot but I know i'll meet some cool cats up in Foco too. It's just going to be hard to make another transition, but I guess sometimes that's half the fun, starting off new.

Life has thrown alot of twists and turns at me this year so far and im trying to adjust and adapt to them as best as I can. But no one said it would be easy. With a little help from my Saviour though, im sure i'll do just fine. :)

A couple days ago a few friends and myself were hiking the incline in Colorado Springs. It's 1.2 miles of stairs with a gain of about 2000 feet up the side of Pikes Peak-ish. It's pretty intense but a great workout. On the way down there's a a 3 mile trail full of switchbacks that takes you back down.

As we were descending to the bottom we were talking about how we all loved the trail going down and simply just being out in the mountains literally minutes away from the city. And even tonight, or ..last night? A bunch of friends and I drove up in the mountains and just goofed around and walked through tunnels, scared drunk people, star gazed and hiked in the dark at 1am. To be able to do that on a whim is so amazing, and I love it! We're so fortunate to be able to live so close to the mountains and hike and bike, camp, and ski all the time.(28 days boarding this winter!) Sadly there are so many people that may be in the state temporarily that don't take advantage of what they have in their backyard until it's too late. I've worked with alot of people at Horn Creek from all over the country, most of which reside in flat states. 90% of them said they would love to move back because they absolutely can't get enough of the mountains. And here some of us might get out and look at Pikes Peak or whatever mountain every day and think nothing about it.

So this is a simple shoutout to our great state of Colorado! If you live here and don't do much outdoors I plead you to do so before it's too late! Don't take it for granted, we have so much to do right at our fingertips!

Ephesians 5:15-16 "Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."

Psalm 34:8 "Taste and see that the LORD is good;(That means get out and see His playground he built for us and enjoy it!) blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."


That is all-

How He Loves

So last night at theMILL Aaron Stern gave a great message on being a father. How we might be a father to our kids if we have them and how we are God's kids and he is our Father. And that however much we love our kids, God loves us infinitely more. It's so hard to grasp the concept of infinite, but God is infinite in every way possible, it's truly amazing. Towards the end he had a group of older men and dad's stand up and they were there to pray or just talk to anyone that maybe didn't have a father figure growing up or maybe had a dad that wasn't there, didn't care, or maybe abused them in some way growing up.

As the worship started and people began to come up and pray with all the dad's, I found myself searching my past with my own dad and what we've gone through together and I started to cry, for the first time in so long I don't remember the last time before. My dad definitely had a temper problem when I was younger and blew up easily which turned into me being physically abused a few times, and ultimately I became afraid of him. Looking back now that was the worst thing that could have happened. It made our relationship distant and in times of need I felt I couldn't turn to him. Im not blaming it all on that but im sure that was a big part of why I have never had a great relationship with him. Thankfully it was kind of a phase he went threw and he got out of it and realized he needed to change. And I will say he's been an amazing dad in so many ways I couldn't ask for anything more. But the one thing I always envied about my friends was the fact that the majority of them had their dad's to turn to for anything, and someone they got along with just like a friend. I have almost never felt that with my dad and we have very few things in common. That was the one thing that I wish our relationship could have had. So I was battling that pretty hard last night.

I know my he loves me with everything he has, and I know he's proud of who I am and who I've become, and that's what matters. I think it's just hard for him to show it. I love the fact that as much as my dad loves me, God loves me and all his children infinitely more and his love never fades or ends. With that combination I feel so much more content.

Proverbs 3:11-12
My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.

One of my favorite things about music is the ability it has to trigger certain memories, places and people in time where you first heard it. Im gunna list a few of my favorite bands and songs and the memories associated with them.


Yellowcard is one of my foundation bands for the genre of music I listen too. It all began on a bus ride to a soccer game my freshman year. I borrowed Ocean Avenue from a friend and didn't give it back to him for 6 months. That CD will always be one of my favorites, and remind me of my friend Brad.

ACDC-Back in Black was also a soccer song, being the first track on our varsity warmup CD when I was a freshman. I miss those days.

BoA is an artist very few Americans would recognize. Her actual name is Boa Kwon and she is a Korean pop star that I discovered while in a record shop in Seoul, Korea in 2007. Once I bought her CD I listened to her the rest of the trip and it always brings back fun memories from that trip.

Brad Paisley, sorry I have to throw him in here. Since I grew up in MT whenever I listen to him it reminds me of my hometown and the many adventures I had living there.

Mariah Carey sadly is on this list too with Touch My Body. Isaac and Joe made it happen with their late night dances in boxers interchanging each other's names in the song. I think I got subbed in a few times as well...

Elvis Costello with Burt Bacharach always brings back memories of getting up when its still dark out to go skiing with my sister and dad while we were growing up in MT.

Songs definitely don't always remind you of good things either. Daughty-Over You is one of my most hated songs now cause of a girl..After a long friendship for years, she stabbed me in the back and never talked to me again. Awesome!

Aqueous Transmission by Incubus brings back urban camping memories last summer with Isaac. Camping on roofs in Boulder and Springs, and also random parks in town waking up to a yoga workout class on the basketball court.

A side of me most of you don't know is I used to be a huge gamer. I mean playing online every night for 3-4 hours. It was my escape for not having any "real" friends in Canon. So I made friends online, but in turn found some great music along with it. My favorite being Jason Reeves-You in a Song.

Linkin Park will always remind me of Boston. Each CD I heard first there. I picked up Meteora and listened to it while riding through Boston tunnels at night.

Justin Timberlake-What Goes Around Comes Around. (believe it) Is one of my favorite songs because of the amazing memories of my first summer at Horn Creek. Climbing 4-5 times a week with one of my best friends Johnny O. and he got me into it and it became our theme song that we listened to every night we climbed.

Run Kid Run reminds me of camping in New Mexico with some amazing friends, and seeing things we shouldn't have..

The girl that I have fallen the hardest for in the past, will always remind me of Paul Simon- Father and Daughter. We worked together up at Horn Creek. I had never found someone that shared more things in common with me before, especially taste in music, it was amazing, i'll never forget her and how she grew in God that summer.

Motion City Soundtrack, Something Corporate, Taking Back Sunday, Brand New, Rise Against, The Flaming Lips, A New Found Glory, Nirvana, Silverstein, Spoon, Sublime. These were alot of my starter bands when I first moved to CO, and my friend Brad introduced me to so much like this. It was a rough time in my life once he moved on to partying and I was left in the dust.

But now my life is back on track due to some amazing people i've met this semester, I seriously couldn't have done it without you guys.
Some bands to go with that now would be- Hillsong United, Number One Gun, Barcelona, Chasen, Dashboard, The Spill Canvas, Fun, and Amsterdarn.