Letting God lead your life.

Recently I've found one of the worst feelings in the world to me is coveting. And it's not your normal type of coveting which could result with possessions like cars, houses, or the latest technological gizmo. But rather the type that is coveting a feeling that someone might get when experiencing something amazing.

For example, my passion right now in life is China. I'm majoring in Asian Studies and plan to learn Mandarin as well, I am not necessarily looking at missions, but it's coming to my attention more and more these days. I think about it all the time and when will be the next time I can go visit and explore and see my brother, it's a non-stop cycle. And it's sometimes annoying because I know it will be a while before I get that chance again.

But in the past few months I met a group of people who are in love with Africa. They want to help out the many thousands of kids there, doing missions and sharing God's word. I couldn't be happier that there are people who share my same desire for overseas work, but the downfall for me was that it wasn't China, it was Africa. As I attended a few different social events having to do with Africa, I found myself utterly jealous of the fact that there kept being events featuring Africa and catering exactly to my friends desires. As much as I loved seeing my friends getting excited and fulfilled from it, it just wasn't the same for me. I got very envious of the feeling of excitement and joy that these events brought them and I wanted it too, oh so bad!

It got me to the point that last Sunday a group of African children preformed and sang at a church up in Springs. As my friends and I sat there and watched I saw the look on their faces of sheer joy and encouragement from these kids. As for me, after the first 10 min I broke down and left the building. It's not that I didn't like it or anything, I just couldn't handle the fact that they had what I longed for. A group of friends with a common interest and events that entertained that interest.


It made me think back to Aaron Stern's last sermon which was on the 10th commandment-Though Shalt Not Covet. And one of the things he said was "We have to believe that God is leading our lives. If we think that someone else is getting something that we deserve and we're not getting something that we think we do deserve, chances are we're thinking that God doesn't know what he's doing. Do we believe that God is leading our lives?" For me this concept is very easy to wrap my head around, but uber hard to actually live out.

To not covet someone, something, or a feeling someone has about something, is to believe that in everything God has it all planned out and has his own plan for each one of us individually. Its so difficult to come to grips with that sometimes. For me it's difficult to realize that even though I don't have a group of friends that are in love with China right now, doesn't mean it won't happen in the future. There will still be a time and a place for that and if it's not right now, then that must be God's plan. All I can do is live with what I have and the amazing friends that share a common goal, even if it isn't the same country. And trust that He is going to reveal it to me when the time is right.

"I will instruct you (says the Lord) and guide you along the best pathway for your life; I will advise you and watch your progress." -Psalms 32: 8

My prayer is I will put it all before God, he will show me when he's ready and I just have to trust in him through it all. And that he will give me peace about my current state of mind.

-Amen

Brotherhood

This past week has been one of the best on record for adventures. A few of my best friends and I went to Texas for spring break. It was definitely one of those times that was needed, where you just longed to get away and experience something new and fresh, and we got exactly what we asked for. Even if Texas isn't the greatest state in the world, you can't disregaurd God's beauty everywhere in it. The ocean was definitely a highlight for me, with the waves gently crashing in the cool morning air and the sun still coming up over the horizon. Reading on the beach in God's word and praying with some of the greatest guys I know, It's hard to compare to anything in the world (except doing the same thing in the mountains of course).

I feel God was trying to show me something with this trip and to show me that this is what brotherhood is all about. One definition I found was "An association of men, united for common purposes" That purpose to me is to come together and glorify God in everything we do and to fellowship with eachother on a regular basis. As well as encourage eachother in all things that we do. That might mean playing ultimate frisbee or snowboarding, or whatever hardships we might go through as well. Whatever the case, I know they will be right behind me backing me up every step of the way. And that's what a true brother in Christ is.

Aside from my actual brother, its been a hard attempt to find people who fill the brotherhood gap. Playing soccer on the field, working together as a team, as brothers, to win the game. This trip has been alot like that and the different trials I went through and the ways they responded, I am proud to call these guys my brothers. They have put themselves out on the line for me and encouraged me in ways I didn't see possible. It really made me think and thank God for them and the blessings they are in my life.

"Above all things let us not forget that mankind constitutes one great brotherhood; all born to encounter suffering and sorrow, and therefore bound to sympathize with eachother." -Albert Pike

Without brothers like these, I don't know where I would be today. Who would push me to jump off the 40 foot cliff? Who would challenge me in God's word? Who would be right by my side as im getting married? My brothers have such an important role in my life I couldn't live without them.. Here's to you. I love you guys.

Trust is a tough one..

Several years ago a few friends of mine joined up with the forest service to fight fires, I decided not to do it but was eager to try the next year..and the next.. both to no avail. With no motivation to keep trying and an ever terrifying website of confusion, I gave up on that idea of traveling to different states helping put out forest fires, and making lots of money.

This past fall however, the idea somehow worked its way to my head again, mainly because I was getting to the point of transferring schools and knew I couldn't afford to make minimum wage again. So I called up one of my buddies who did it before and got quite a bit of info of what to do and how to make it happen. So I finally applied for an entry level job based out of Canon and was up against 19 other applicants. I waited and I waited..and waited.. for about 3 months. Which in my opinion is waaay too long to dwell on whether or not you get a job, its torture, my mind twisting against me and eventually having to start thinking of alternatives if it didn't work out. Nearing the time when they were suppose to select the only position for the summer. I got a call from my buddy again telling me to make sure everything was in order and they should be selecting someone soon. Another few weeks went by and I was getting really ancy. I kept thinking .."what if I don't get it? I will have to make crap money again this summer". So after meeting with a friend recently he showed me a verse in the Bible that couldn't of been more acurate to my situation.

Philippians 4:6-7 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heats and minds through Christ Jesus".

So after hearing that verse it really got me thinking about how I was handling this job process. I wasn't relying on God at all but only in myself and what I could do about it. So I decided to pray about it and just put it before God and if this was the way he wanted me to go then he would open the door. So I finally was able to relax knowing that God was and IS ultimately in control over everything, and even if I don't make alot of money, I trust that God will always provide for everything in my life. Its definitely not an easy thing to do with our human nature. Trust is not built overnight, but it's much more worth it in the end.

So about a week after this happened I got a call from the Forest Service offering me the job! I couldn't believe my ears, such accomplishment I felt, and I owe it all to our loving and gracious God.

It's things like this that make me strive to live for him even more when he answers prayers.

All in all--God is good.

God Always Provides

I grew up going to church, every sunday, every week, without fail. It was an involuntary movement that's lasted my whole life. In the past year though, Church has been a very interesting topic in my life. I was going to a church I liked only because I had some friends there, it was never about actually going to listen, but rather to socialize and not pay attention by any means. And once these so called "friends" graduated and moved on to college, I was left by myself. I kept attending now and again, but felt so out of place always by myself with no real group to even hang out with. Slowly as the Summer came I began to go less and less and finally when I started working alot of Sundays I stopped going altogether. And when I did have a Sunday off the last thing on my mind was church, but rather what can I do today to have fun on my 1 day off.

It was a very stagnant Summer altogether with no real friends around and consisted of alot of boring days indoors. With the end of the Summer nearing and school starting up again my mom addressed the issue with me and expressed her concern for me fading away from God (rightly so). She asked if I would start going to church again, so I did. Back to the same church I was at before with nothing really new changing and still wasn't stoked about going.

So about a month into the school year my brotha-from-anotha-motha Isaac invited me up to the new church he was attending, TheMILL. He said he knew I would like it and I could meet alot of cool people he recently had met there. I kept putting it off and said I would come eventually. So finally a few weeks after, I made the long hour and 15 min trip up to north Colorado Springs and ended up going by myself due to certain circumstances, so I sat quietly in the back and was instantaneously blown away.

First off I didn't expect it to be so large, with upwards of 1000 college age kids it was pretty insane, and second the worship band was incredible and I could feel the power of the music as each song built up and got louder. Needless to say by the end of the night I knew...just knew that's where God wanted me. So I came up the next week with Isaac and was introduced to so many amazing Christian people my age and couldn't believe how much I had in common with them right off the back. So I decided to make TheMill my new church home and haven't missed a service since my first day on January 8th. It has been sooo long since i've been apart of a church where I actually look forward to going every week and fellowshipping with awesome people. And don't forget all the crazy times we have after the service, it has been amazing and I couldn't of asked for a better change in my life.

I've really learned through all this to rely on God for EVERYTHING and he will ALWAYS provide as long as you trust in Him and ask Him for help. It never crossed my mind to do that before all this happened, but my mom never gave up on me and im so thankful for that. I'd also like to thank Isaac for getting me up there and being a great friend in the past few years, I love you man.



Like John Lennon said "Oh I get by with a little help from my friends"